You’ve been helping your mother for quite some time. She might be in her 70s, 80s, or 90s and you never thought twice about being there for her. Lately, though, it’s been overwhelming. You simply don’t know how much more you can take, and you’ve been hearing a lot of rumors from the gossip mill.
Maybe your family is not as understanding as you would hope.
Some family members think there are ulterior motives to loved ones looking after aging parents, grandparents, or others. For example, you might have a younger sibling who doesn’t live in the area who thinks you’re negatively influencing your grandparents. It’s not true at all, but that doesn’t change the reality that close relationships or completely changed dynamics in certain relationships can cause even our closest loved ones to question our motivations, efforts, and more.
So, what does your family say about this situation?
You don’t want to think about it. Your mother needs you and you’re not about to turn your back on her. You don’t have to, but if you value your loved ones and your relationship with them, it’s important to see things from their perspective.
They might notice the stress you’re under.
Our closest friends and family members often know a lot more about us than we’d like them to (or to admit ourselves). They see the impact that a job, relationship, or other situation can have on us. They want us to be safe, comfortable, and happy.
Lately, though, you’ve been under mounting pressure. You’ve stopped going to the gym. You no longer pay attention to what you eat. You’re consuming more fast food and letting yourself ‘go,’ as it were.
You simply see it as the cost of making sure your mother is safe at home. They see the stress that is surrounding you and building up each and every day starting to take a toll on your health, your relationships, and maybe even your work life.
Sometimes, it’s a good idea to listen to what our loved ones have to say.
You may not want to hear it, but your spouse, brother or sister, and maybe even your other parent could be trying to tell you this is too much, you need a break every once in a while, and that there is help available. One of the best ways to get help in these types of situations is to call on the services of a home care aide.
You might feel this is your responsibility, but an experienced aide can offer insight and help you stay on track to not just look after your mother, but also take care of yourself.