Your father may have been reluctant to rely on home care aides. Eventually, though, he began to see how much it was affecting you, your mother, or other family members just trying to take care of him. It may have been an uncomfortable situation for him and you, for example, when it came time to get into and out of the shower. Hiring a home care aide for a couple of hours every few days during the week was a good option.
Now, though, he seems to be creating more problems.
You’ve heard from this home care aide that he’s making odd requests. You can’t seem to make heads or tails about what they could possibly be, and it’s confusing. Is he beginning to exhibit the earliest signs of dementia? Is he being silly? Or is he doing something else?
First, he may be trying to sabotage the relationship.
He may have felt forced to rely on outside support. He may have been adamantly opposed to the idea of hiring a home care aide or looking into any other option, but if he felt pressure from you or other family members, he may have relented, grudgingly. The moment he agreed to hire a home care aide, though, he may have started thinking about ways he could make the situation so uncomfortable for the caregiver that they would quit.
Find out if he’s trying to sabotage this relationship. Tell him he does not have to rely on this level of care because he has every right to determine what happens in his own life.
Second, it could very well be early signs of dementia.
If you are concerned about dementia, which can include Alzheimer’s, encourage him to visit his doctor. If he gets proper diagnosis, he can get adequate care early on which can be extremely beneficial as the disease progresses. If you wait too long, his quality of life, safety, and comfort can diminish in time.
Third, he may simply not know how to deal with the situation.
This is a new situation for him. He may not have the tools, knowledge, or courage to face it properly. He could revert to some immature response that doesn’t seem to make any sense to anyone else but him.
Sit down and talk to him about it. Be honest and open. And, most importantly, listen to what he has to say. When we listen to our aging loved ones instead of assuming we know what’s best, we can often help them make the right decision and be comfortable with home care services.
If you or an aging loved one are considering home care for a senior in Cambridge, MA, please contact the caring staff at Care Resolutions. Helping Hands, Happy Hearts. Specializing in Quality Care in Eastern Massachusetts. Call Us! (508) 906-5572.
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