It’s frustrating. You’ve been trying to convince your aging father to consider home care options. However, he doesn’t want to hear anything about it. No matter what you talk about, he seems to refuse every single idea.
You’ve mentioned having him move in with you.
You told him it could be a great idea to move in. He can spend more time with you, your children before they head off to college, and even visit with other family and friends he hasn’t seen in a long time, but he doesn’t want to do that.
He wants to remain where he’s comfortable. He’s been living in the same house for decades. He is familiar with the layout, has no issues with it, but is certainly having difficulty keeping up with the general maintenance and cleaning.
You’ve talked about having somebody there to support him.
You told him a home care aide doesn’t have to help him get out of bed or anything like that. You’ve tried to explain that this individual could keep him safe, help him do the laundry once or twice a week, and he wouldn’t need to rely on them for full-time, around-the-clock care.
You know he’s not safe.
You’ve seen the signs. You know he has fallen a couple of times because he’s trying to do too much. Still, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, and no matter what you suggest he is completely adamant in his refusal to consider home care options.
What can you do now?
Unless you gain power of attorney over him and have the ability to make legal decisions, which is most likely going to cause a tremendous amount of tension in your relationship and not solve anything in the long run, the best thing is to continue offering him emotional support. Some people simply don’t want to rely on anyone else for help.
As long as you learned everything you could about home care options and have explained it all to him in detail, there’s really not much else you can do. There may come a time when he is injured or has some other emergency that makes it impossible for him to function without physical support, but in the meantime, continue to be there for him in any way you can, even if it is only with a simple phone call to check in on him.
Some seniors are stubborn in their refusal, and even though home care is, hands down, the best option, they won’t see it that way until something else happens.